Parenting Lessons From the (Dog) Movies
I was about an hour into watching Marley and Me with my kids this morning when it suddenly occurred to me:
This movie about the dog looked an awful lot like this life with the kids.
Boom. Once that thought hit my brain waves, the similarities were everywhere. I began to view all of mom-life and parenting through the lenses of the many dog movies I’ve watched.
So just off the top of my head, here are 15 ways that the little dogs remind me of the little humans. For all of you just starting out on this wild journey of raising a little animal, ahem, I mean child…READ AND LEARN. This ain’t no joke.
- They will chew everything in sight. Edible, toxic, disgusting, mounted to the wall, cigarette butts at the park, whatever. They will chew it all.
- There’s gonna be a lot of poop. It cannot be restrained or contained. (Keep lesson #1 in mind here.)
- They will look really sweet and so innocent in those first few days. Then you will take them home. See lesson #4.
- You will underestimate the force of the destruction that this one little creature can cause. With growing horror, you will find trails of wreckage in their wake. Like that one time when my daughter pushed over the flatscreen TV. Oh, wait, that happened twice.
- The sequels are going to be even more intense and destructive than the first production.
- That’s actually a nice way of saying that somehow there ends up being more of them than you planned.
- They will keep you up at night. Storms. Growling tummies. Snuggles. Poop.
- But they really do look so sweet when they eventually do sleep.
- The husband usually needs persuasion to add a member to the family. He then feels jipped by the loss of affection, followed closely by hopelessness over the (again) destruction, but can’t live without the little creature in the end.
- Training them looks waaaaay easier than it turns out to be. Throw out your manuals now.
- They will always pee everywhere EXCEPT for the one place you want them to.
- They have an instinct for who the not-so-nice people are. Trust it. Go with it.
- Your stuff will go missing. Your stuff will break. Your stuff will be ruined, slobbered on, chewed. Basically, the days of having nice stuff are over. Shed a tear. Move on.
- They will end up sleeping in your bed. I know you have firm convictions about how they will not. But trust me: they will sleep in your bed.
- As much as you fight it, they will take over your life. I used to have thoughts unrelated to mom-life. Big thoughts. Profound thoughts. Varied thoughts. Plans, hobbies, Saturdays. This blog was going to be an expression of how well-rounded I am as a woman. Hahaha, try again, Mommy! All I seem to be able to write about is my life as Mom. Why? Because the little creatures have taken over my life.
So there you go…life with kids is really not that different from life with dogs. 😉